[pnpgm] Update #83

john haight lithalis at yahoo.com
Wed Oct 22 23:55:09 CEST 2008


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   Arawn can cast Shadow Sculpt to create armor for Raban (and anyone else who feels they need it. I think eveyone else is armored but I'm not sure about Fremea. Does Fremea need any armor?). I can create any armor for you as I'm almost an EL 80 armorer. The armor will last 2 days minimum and I can craft up to 2 shadow items still (might be more now but I'd have to check). Arawn is low on mana but if you don't want to wait until morning he'll cast it now.
   Let me know what you decide (or if anyone else needs some).
<Not in RP so cant respond? But Raban can wait, likely he has more HP than many even now.>

   "I am somewhat drained from our recent activities but I can craft the shadow armor now if you wish. Otherwise I can conjure it after we have rested and are refreshed. Let me know what you wish."</red>
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----- Original Message ----
From: J Hooten <jhooten at binary.net>
To: john haight <lithalis at yahoo.com>
Sent: Tuesday, October 21, 2008 4:42:12 PM
Subject: Re: [pnpgm] Update #83



john haight wrote: 
   "It is good to know that you strive for peaceful resolutions to situations, Raban. As to when to cross a line, to fight or talk, it is not always an easily definable line. Life is a precious thing but we cannot deny death its due. Both are part of the great cycle, for all life subsists on the lives of other things. The hunter eats his prey just as the prey feeds on the lives of plants. It is not an issue of whether an action is right or wrong, it is an issue of motivation, why we choose the action.
   If I were to tell you that a man violently slaughtered a group of women in his home, how do you judge that? Did he do wrong? If he lured them there and forced himself upon them before killing them he would be condemned. But what if they had broken into his home and attempted to kill him and his family out of jealousy? Now is he in the wrong?
   In either situation the women died, the difference wasn't in the man's choice of action but why he did it, his motivation. One was selfish, fueled by lust and violence, while the other was done out of a need to protect himself and his loved ones.
   You, like all of us, have motivations. Do you know your priorities? Do you know why you do what you do, on deep level? You seek to protect women above all others, so it seems. Why? Do you cherish them above all, if so, why?
    Or do you seek penance for something in your past that haunts you? Are you protecting them because you've yet to resolve this? Aren't all things, or at least men versus women, deserving the same level of respect, protection, and love? Is a man or child truly less deserving of your protection than a woman?
   Or is it that you feel that women are weak? Strength comes in many packages, not just in our arms and legs.
   It could be one of the above, a mix, or none at all but ask yourself why you make the decisions that you do and then after finding the answer, dig deeper to find the root emotion behind it, the motivation and prioritize them. Raban, the saying goes, we all have two wolves within us, one good- love, hope, compassion, truth, and wisdom- and one bad - anger, hate, jealousy, resentment, and deceit. These wolves fight daily, who wins depends on which wolf you choose to feed.
   If you still seek penance I suggest you ponder my words and decide if you truly need it. In my mind I do not think so but only you can remove the stain on your heart and free the voices of your past. All anyone else can do is offer you the tools to aid you in this, they cannot free you from yourself. 
   As to whether or not to armor yourself, there is no wrong in it. All things fight for their lives, do so knowing that you are striving to do good things and to protect those who cannot protect themselves and you must be armed and armored- physically, spiritually, and morally- when you must face a challenge and have no recourse but to fight. Choose your actions knowing your motivations, focus on love and respect for life, remain principled and you should have little reason to doubt your choice of actions."Raban listens carefully to all Arawn says before replying "The motivations of people I understand far too much. I would be upset for either reason as there should have been means to prevent their deaths. And even if the ladies were doing wrong, did they not have their own reasons? Jealousy of a group of women versus one man and his family would seem to imply the man was not so innocent of wrong doing. But I understand I cannot assume all women are
 innocent, so even though I will want to protect them it may not always be the right thing. I was raised in a troop of traveling entertainers and as such I have experienced much of the dark side of man. Guards and Town leaders are often corrupt and demand bribes or more, it is not every town but a majority of them. There are good people out there as well but most do not help others in need. So I have dealt with criminals of many sorts and many proved more trustworthy than guards or nobles. I have seen the fate of young girls who are pretty but poor or even young boys. We had to watch all our people, our 'family', so they would not be taken away for some rich persons personal entertainment as foreigners are always considered fair game as less likely to be 'trouble'. Sometimes it is not the obviously corrupted people who are the danger just someone who saw an opportunity, or as you said that wolf was fed. But I have broken our own laws, I killed a murderer
 who was important enough to draw vengeance. So even though my action was justified, I had to be punished so that others would not be... Most who commit crimes are not bad people, but some are truly evil. It would not have taken much for me to have become such a person, as most expect it just looking at me, just because I am different. I enjoy proving them wrong. But I have to watch my own actions as I could be tricked into doing wrong. So I must be a good judge of people to know who I should believe or trust or at least know when force is not required. The ladies here are complex and hard to read, not always 'good' but not 'bad' either. Some have been hurt badly in the past and not just physically, yet are still trying to do what is right. I am sure they would not be seen as good people by many cultures and such judgment would be for the wrong reasons. My goddess is not one that requires me to be one of the morally good people by most standards, but
 neither does she wish for me to be a bad one. I help those who need it, teach were I can, entertain all that I can and enjoy the company of women. It is not a bad life even though there are many risks to it. I think you are right, even though I am hurting people as long as I don't start liking it I should not become a monster. Becoming even harder to stop may just allow me to reduce the hurt I do instead of increasing it. Thank you... Now I am left with how to apply what magic I have for others benefit? I have plenty that I rarely use and I am being shown that such may be improper. But my training did not include very many spells that see common use. If I cannot find the right spells I need to find a way to give the ones who need it some of my unused power. I have cast a few blessings and could do more of those, defensive ones I am sure Miryan would allow even for the men."



   Arawn paused and smiled quietly,

   "I do not know if my words are eloquent enough for you, if my message has been properly worded, but when this is done, if you are not in a hurry, there are some you might wish to study with. In the forests to the west lies a Sacred Forest guarded by a Forestal, a Green Lady, and an Archdruid and his disciples, including a Bard that is friend to us.. They are dedicated to the Court of Life, the Neutral Path, and in that place all life is sacred. They can teach more than I think I will be able to. Let me know if you wish to travel there and I will happily sponsor you before them."Raban smiles, "I am already a follower of that path, actually its a related one. The Gods of those paths are the same even though they have different names. It gets confusing, as a Bard my memory was well trained but that does not mean I understand all I know. But it would not be inappropriate to visit these people and maybe they can continue my training, though I will still
 need to visit my own Druids at times. I was given permission to travel widely, more so than most Bards of my rank do. I go where my goddess directs me in my heart or as events dictate at other times. Its a winding road but I have helped many that would otherwise have gone without."



   Arawn can cast Shadow Sculpt to create armor for Raban (and anyone else who feels they need it. I think eveyone else is armored but I'm not sure about Fremea. Does Fremea need any armor?). I can create any armor for you as I'm almost an EL 80 armorer. The armor will last 2 days minimum and I can craft up to 2 shadow items still (might be more now but I'd have to check). Arawn is low on mana but if you don't want to wait until morning he'll cast it now.
   Let me know what you decide (or if anyone else needs some).<Not in RP so cant respond? But Raban can wait, likely he has more HP than many even now.>



      
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